


Sartorially Offensive

by Alania_Black



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 14:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4483508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alania_Black/pseuds/Alania_Black
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sartorially offensive? Did you just end an argument with me about my taste in pizza toppings by calling my <i>sartorially offensive</i>?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sartorially Offensive

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [prompt](http://waketosleep.dreamwidth.org/43226.html?thread=543450#cmt543450).

“Sartorially offensive? Did you just end an argument with me about my taste in pizza toppings by calling my _sartorially offensive_? In what world does that even make sense?”

“You have no taste – pineapple pizza, button fly cargoes, same thing!”

“No, it really isn’t. You have a terrible taste for pastry goods and an _offensive_ prejudice against pineapples, but you still think wearing a tie to work every day is the height of fashion.”

“That’s beside the point, the point is your taste in pizza and clothing is offensive.”

“Look, I dress myself for comfort. I don’t want to be trying to chase down a suspect -.”

“Or shoot them, or dump them in a shark tank -.”

“ _Point_ , I don’t want to be doing that and be all... chafed, or uncomfortable, because my snooty tailored slacks don’t move right.”

“I get along alright.”

“I can carry my phone, guns, weapons, handcuffs _and_ a snack. With spare room. You practically need a manbag.”

“ _Manbag_?! You think _ties_ are only useful for tying people’s hands to the headboard, but you know the word _manbag_?”

“I also know the words _prissy bitch_ , if that’s helpful.”

Kono thought she should probably jump in there before they actually started getting physical with each other. It was a toss up on any given day if it would end in bloodshed or public acts of indecency. Or both.

“I’ll show you a _prissy bitch_ , Steve McGarrett, and I’ll use my _ties_ and _manbags_ to do it!”

“You’d have to catch me first, and with those pretty trousers of your cutting off your circulation I’m almost guaranteed to get away from you!”

“I am perfectly capable of looking smart and _professional_ and still be able to _chase you down_. I don’t need to look like I can’t afford clothes that don’t come in three-packs from Walmart to be comfortable!”

“Oh, that is _definitely_ something a woman would say – did Rachel teach you that?”

“Oh, that’s completely below the belt. And speaking of below the belt, compensating for much?”

Kono sat back down. Maybe she’d try to separate them later. The popcorn wasn’t finished yet, anyway.


End file.
